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Tired Mama

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God I’m tired, so very tired. The kind of tired you are when you have a 9 month old who is a crap sleeper at night, who wakes hourly… but.. forgive the cliche, this too shall pass..

One thing I am excellent at doing when I am extremely sleep deprived, depressed or stressed is make important life changing decisions, there’s no better time right?

Are you holding your breath in anticipation? I am.

We have decided to shun the bright lights, the busy roads, the too loud neighbours, their bloody lawn mower and cigars, the insanely expensive house prices, the shitty air, the lack of community and the too small backyards and hightail it up the mountains…

Ok so we are not going tomorrow or next month even but next year. With kids in tow, there is an enormous amount of preparation involved. Choosing the right school, finding a decent playgroup and activities, deciding which suburb will best suit us and our thin wallet and allowing time to finish the renovations here before putting our house on the market.,. again..

I am obsessive by nature and this is all consuming for me, I can’t wait and I have never been one for delayed gratification, but fortunately or unfortunately for me, my husband is.. he can wait, he likes to plan, to plod, to mull things over. I cause him great anxiety with my impulsiveness. He causes me great anxiety with his slowness. We meet usually somewhere in the middle, perhaps with a slight lean in my direction, I love him for that.

What’s the ultimate goal?

To live a simpler life. To stress less, to grow more food, keep more chickens and other assorted animals that honour us with their presence. For my husband a complete career change, a big step, a huge deal. A scary, exciting uncertain leap into the unknown. More on that later…

I need something to tide me over, to occupy my mind so I don’t jump too far out of my skin. I can’t drink because I’m breastfeeding and last I heard 9 month olds aren’t keen on vodka and cranberry. I can’t live on valium for the same reason plus that stuff is just no good for you. What can I do? I can write and I can knit.

Today I went a little yarn crazy, a 30% off sale can do that to you, and bought some wool to knit my husband, cheeky and squishy a scarf each. They’re gonna need it when we move and since I am not very good at knitting, this is something I am confident I can do in an almost average, not too crappy way. Plus, kids love it when their mums make them wear clothes they made don’t they? I want them too look back on photos of their lives when they grow up and be amazed by the sheer beauty of their home made apparel.

‘Aw shucks mum, that jumper was really swell…’

Well perhaps it won’t sound quite like a line from Happy Days, and they will probably resent me for it until they have kids of their own, but that’s the beauty of kids, they need you, then they hate you, then they need you again (when they move back home to save money) and finally, they will understand you.

I hope so anyway.

Here’s my stash

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Let the fun begin.



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